His little world...

Hilwawe Foundation Orphanage- Addis Ababa

We’re currently in one of the last waiting phases of our adoption process. This phase is involving a lot of preparation… we’re researching strollers, we’ve got a spot saved with a sweet little ‘grandma-style’ daycare when he’s ready and I’ve been sorting through my bags of hand me downs. I’m working on getting my school life as organized as possible, we’ve registered at Target, friends are designing baby shower invites and we’re getting a jump start on the fall projects. Wes is reading lots…before our house is louder and busier. But, lately I’ve been reminded a lot of days of what Kaleb is doing.

He’s doing the same thing he was in July and May and April… sleeping, drinking a bottle, playing with his hands, smiling at the nannies. Sleeping, drinking a bottle, playing with his hands, smiling at the nannies. That’s his life right now. A few times a day, they put him in the bouncer seat or swap out his little toys or walk with him around the room for a bit. But that’s it. That’s all the life he knows. To him, life involves kind ladies in blue providing the basics to ten babies at a time. They smile and love on him but, he doesn’t belong to anyone. They wrap him snug, lay him down and he eventually falls asleep when there’s nothing left to do. When he’s hungry, he gives them a smile when they come to prop his bottle up. Orphanages are quiet places. Babies in orphanages don’t cry. They learn there’s no point. Its clean and warm but its not a home. But, its his version of normal.

It doesn’t involve unlimited tickles and cuddles and play time outside. It doesn’t involve long warm soothing bathes followed by snuggles in a cute towel with teddy bear ears. It doesn’t involve early morning cuddles in mom and dad’s bed. It doesn’t involve bedtime stories in the rocking chair with mom or midnight walks with dad. No one holds the bottle for him and whispers ‘I love you sweet Kaleb’ to him while he eats. No one to give the “I’m just bored and want to hang out with someone” cry to. His early weeks of introduction to the world involved a farewell to his birth family. Who knows how he survived the few weeks between his birth and arrival at the orphanage. Every week, these  people come to play. They come and go, come and go. They smell different, talk different, look different. They seem nice but, they seem more like a new toy to play with rather than anything else. This one time, a white couple came and cuddled a lot. They cuddled lots and lots. But then they left.

He doesn’t know what’s coming, or what it all means or how it’ll all work out. He doesn’t know that within the next few months, at the age of 6-7 months, everything in his world will change. The nice nannies in blue will kiss him goodbye, that white couple who really liked to cuddle will return, he’ll immigrate to a new country. New smells, new language, new tastes, new water, tvs, noisy toys, cell phones ringing and a thousand other forms of new. A nursery for one.

I’m 31 years old and can’t image moving to a foreign country let alone being 6 months old and moving to a foreign country. Some may think, oh- he’s just a little baby. True, but- that’s all he has known. We’re going to flip it all inside out. Well… Together, we’re going to flip our worlds inside out. Schedules, expectations, our love, our patience, our comfort zones. We’ll have waited over 18 months to be home together as family. He’s been living all but days of his life without a family. Son. Dad. Mom. New titles, new roles and new entitlements. We’re confidant it won’t always be pretty, or quiet, or glamorous, or fun, or easy. But, we’re excited how we grow to truly become a family… to redefine his normal.  We can't wait to have him here!!  In the meantime, we'll continue to pray for good health, God's protection and a speedy process in getting him home.