111 Days... the BIG little thing.

Tonight was a first I've been waiting for 111 days.

 If a person is in survival mode- you hold on the tightest to the single thing you need to in fact- survive.  If you're an infant and then a toddler in an orphanage, the thing you need to survive is food.  You don't need toys or stimulation or hugs necessarily or songs sung to you at night or a fresh diaper even though the old one is loaded full of crap.  Literally.  You need that bottle of milk to survive.  Every drop of it and because there may be doubt- you drink it within seconds.  I'll never forget our first night with Elsie.  It took her literally less than 10 seconds to drink an 8 oz. bottle.  It was insane how fast she could drink a bottle.  If you need that milk, the safest place for it is in your belly.  So you get there as fast as possible.

Eventually, we came home and she started to slow down.  And, then she finally relaxed a little and learned to enjoy a bottle of milk.  Every night, I would sit down in the rocker with her, snuggle the blanket up and give her her bottle.  She would immediately hold it herself and very firmly and quickly pull it from my hands so only she was supporting the bottle.

Most parents would be like 'yay, the kid already knows how to hold her own bottle, that's great'.
Wrong.

Tonight on night 111...she let me hold it.  From start to finish.  She just laid there and stared me in the eye for most of it hardly blinking.  Once it was empty, she snuggled in.  Then, sat up.  Kissed me, giggled and snuggled right back into the crook of my arm.  Its like she knew...

It actually started last night.  I think last night, on day 110... she fell in love with me.  All those days before- she liked me, she was glued to me many of those days and she would come to me no matter what.  But, I don't think she really loved or trusted me.

Last night for the first time, she just wanted to lie in my arms and stare at me.  She wanted me to sing to her.  And, she would hum back to me.  And, she would would lie there and suddenly just get squirmy giggle face expression which said 'oh, I finally believe this is really real'.  Kisses and snuggles.  Kisses and snuggles.  She was just sappy and sweet and literally just could not get enough lovin' on.  Last night was different even though I couldn't totally put my finger on the what last night.

Tonight, I think she headed into bed time believing this is real for the first time tonight.  A person can do things a lot of times but not really believe its real and true and permanent and trust it.  But, tonight on day 111- she finally trusted me with her key to survival.  Maybe tonight, we left survivor mode behind and new mode of life has begun :)  Tonight she trusted me and that is a BIG little thing.  

The Hum of Life

Suddenly, it is June.  How did that happen?  We wrapped up may with a quick trip to see Grandma and Grandpa.  Oh, it was fun :)

 Only Elsie would use the rainbow dragon puppet as as shoe. 

Therefore, when you walk and lift your foot up...the dragon mouth opens.  

Smartie pants she is... and, cute too! 

 I would bet a lot of money, that Wes did the same as a kid! 

 Back at home... the girl LOVES her cowboy boots! 

Like daughter & mama :) 

 Love these two :) 

Summer is here but in a new a different way.  I'm two weeks into a new job.  A job I love.  Wes teases me all the time about the 'tabs' in my brain.  Like an internet browser with each something you're working on and going lots of different directions.  Well, the 'new job' tab has been open for a long time.  Like, since Kaleb came home.  I liked my previous job.  I was established, had a solid system in place and I liked it.  But, it was insane for our family.  Too much driving, too many 'extra' places to be, things to do, concession stands to organize/staff/clean/manage/supply, a lot of demands for the amount of time available to actually work because you have dozens of students nearly every minute of the day.  Never, ever take for granted the amount of work that goes into teaching.  If your kids' teacher is slow to respond or things aren't completely always totally anal retentively organized... give'm a break.  They are insanely busy.

June 1st, started a new chapter.  And, I'm loving it!  My new role already makes me feel like.... a professional.  Crazy.  Bizarre I tell ya!  And, I get to eat lunch every day with my kids.  I'm done with work about the time they wake up from their nap and my commute takes about 7 seconds.  I am loving the fresh responsibilities, healthy challenges (good challenges... the kind that make you excited to conquer them not the kind where you're dreading the fallout from the parent with the perfect child kind of challenge) and professional respect to take a project and run with it.

The kids get to spend their summer at home too :)  Our rock star babysitter is an incredible blessing.   This week, they enjoyed VBS in the mornings at a local church.  Today, Kaleb had his first VBS program.  And, I got to go.  Lots of singing and dancing!

It's the simple things.  Like having your kids in the same town as you and not having to spend an hour of your life every day in the car.  To God be the Glory!!!  He seriously put this together on no account of my doing.  I can tell I had nothing to do with it- it's turned out wonderfully!

Elsie is continuing to settle in.  These past few weeks have been a little stressful for her as I'm not available all day but being home, playing with her own toys, napping in her own bed, etc. has been very helpful and we are so grateful for our Timber :)  Yesterday, we started a new phase as well... called 'kid activities'.  Kaleb started gymnastics.  Yikes, if you've seen the kid you know how perfectly gymnastics suits his style.  And, besides...what boy wouldn't love a bona-fide 'Ninja' class?? The highlight from last night was when they wanted him to put both hands on a bar then swing his legs over the bar.  The kid just did a cartwheel over the bar instead ;)  When they practiced walking along a straight line of tape, he did a cartwheel down the line instead.  Oh, boy.

So, that is where we are.  The hum of life.  And, its good.  We actually kind of almost feel... normal.

P.S.  Tonight...while riding bikes in the street and going for a walk, a young couple walked past us with this big huge beautiful yellow lab.  And, Elsie pointed at it repeatedly and said 'dog'.  It wasn't phonetically perfect but it was definitely 'dog'.  Yay!!  Other than Mama and a random Dada from time to time, this just might be her first word.  I think we need a dog.... ;)  If that doesn't earn a kid a dog, I don't know what does!