Goodbye February...

Well, the fact that its 7:30pm means that in fact February is not our month to meet Baby Roth.  Today has been a tricky one in our adoption journey.  I think that both Wes and I can truly say that we both hoped very strongly and believed in our hearts that by the time that March hit- we would be working on travel plans and most importantly, starring at pictures of Baby Roth.  Instead of of ordering crib bedding in pink or blue... I painted the downstairs bedroom grey this past weekend.  Its a pretty color actually- clean, fresh and updated.  It looks great, we love it but well, its just not the room I thought we'd be working on by now. 
I've learned a lot in life about expectations.  I try and try and try to become much much more realistic in my expectations and at times am on the verge of crazily avoidant of expectations.  I've been known to say 'expect nothing, you won't be disappointed'...But, I am a planner, I am organized, I'm an optimist and I am hopeful.  Which can really mess with a girl sometimes. 
So, you know what that means- we need all of you, and anyone who you feel like sharing with, to step up our game in praying for our adoption, for Baby Roth and our journey through this process.  Often throughout the day, we both pray for our child we've yet to meet. We know that lots of others do the same and we are so very, very thankful for those prayers on our behalf.  The later our referral comes, the more complex our journey gets.  It reminds me of Pastor Ron's sermon yesterday.  He mentioned that for an engine to start there must be compression.  Our timeline is starting to build and become more and more complex.  There is more pressure from more directions related to more aspects of our lives.  We are reminded that God has it all planned out...ugh, but if only he'd give us a heads up.   We are reminded that in times of trial- to lift it all up to Him, our Sustainer. 
Not to be too discouraging- we have learned of 2 infant referrals within the last 2 weeks.  So, its great news to hear that referrals are picking up again as Bethany begins working with more/new agencies.  We know our 'family day' is coming.  Just like those crocuses out by the front porch waiting to bloom- we just have to wait for our bright sunshiney day when the time is right.  In the meantime, I'm going to go plan my garden for this spring.  We most definitely will have time for a garden this spring I'm thinking!